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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Madeline21/Female/United States Recent Activity
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I think of *you in notes that don't exist. The way *you make me feel everything at once without actually being here, and being all the way over there, is utterly astounding. My dear if I could just write out my love for *you in a way that *you could comprehend and understand, maybe I finally would. Finally would stop all the wishing and daydreaming and longing to be within those arms of *yours. Maybe one day I'll conquer my fears... But not today.
Notebook writing 27
Oct. 20, 2014 - 3:54 P.M.
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So a couple of days ago I asked *him if *he thought I was neurotic. Don't ask me what prompted the question, I don't know. What I do know is when *he said "Maybe?" for some reason unknown, I smiled.
  • Mood: Thanks
  • Listening to: The sound of my breathing
  • Reading: Words
  • Watching: The calendar...
  • Playing: With words
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing
Being with *you in the silence was the most prettiest thing ever. The most serene thing ever. If I could do it in reality, and not in a dream, I would. Hell, maybe we will be able to. No sex, no kissing, no making out. Just simply existing near each other. Sitting near one another and me leaning my head against *you. Would it be wasted if there was no making out involved? Honestly, no. That dream I had of *you was the most beautiful one I've had. If either one of us took the initiative to act any physicalities out, then so be it. There we would be. Of course, I doubt I could control myself around *you, alone, for more than 5 minutes. That would be torturing my poor heart and that's not really okay. There is this inhuman passion for *you that burns within my soul. I long for *you and I've said that more than once. I long to be with *you physically, not have *you on top of me fucking my heart out. I thought that's what I wanted. I thought I wanted *you to fuck me. When in reality I just want *your presence, not *your cock. Does that mean I *don't* want *you to do me? No. What that means is I've realized what I *really* want from *you, and us having sex ain't it.
A Strong Revelation
After a dream I had about *him I've realized what I want from *him. <'3 Come on hurry up Thanksgiving! :3
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www.kickstarter.com/projects/h…

I saw part 1 a year ago, and I really liked it, and :iconcherishkay: linked me to part 2 the other day. I'm simply asking for y'all to donate any amount at all, and/or share this in any format. Let's get this thing done!
  • Mood: Peaceful
  • Listening to: The sound of my breathing
  • Reading: Words
  • Watching: The calendar...
  • Playing: With words
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing
"I'm very sorry about earlier. I'm still not fully sober, but I am sober enough to realize I fucked up. I'm very sorry for what I said, but it is true. I do love you, and I hate it. I'm sick and tired of the disgusting dirty thoughts I have about you at night. I don't know how to stop them.

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There's more shit I've written about you. Please understand something Sonny. I love Alex. Okay? If things go okay and he gets a job in Biloxi, I'd like to marry him one day if that's okay with you. Please also understand that I will never stop loving you. I just can't. I've tried everything I can possibly think of to get you out my mind, but nothing has worked. I'm in love with you, Sonny Louvin. It hurts. It hurts so fucking much. I'm supposed to be in love with your son, not *you*. Please don't be angry with me, because this is something I can't help. Like I said, I've tried everything. Obviously drinking only makes it worse. I think tonight is my last night. Tonight really did me in. I almost crawled on my hands and knees to the damn bathroom and I still kinda feel like throwing up. I'm not saying I have a drinking problem, but I'm not saying I don't either. I fully understand if you are mad at me. There's been three times I've wanted to kill myself. Once when Ollie died, once when I told you what I did for the first time, and now. I'm not gonna do anything to myself, that'd be selfish of me. Instead I'm gonna go to bed and try my hardest not to think of you and do anything to myself that I shouldn't.

Goodnight.

Love,
Madeline"

*Sigh* Why am I such an idiot? ._. To top that off, before I did this, I tried to call *him... He didn't answer. It went to *his voicemail. I heard *his voice, I freaked out silently and hung up the phone ohmyGodwhyyyyyy?
  • Mood: Speechless
  • Listening to: The sound of my breathing
  • Reading: Words
  • Watching: The calendar...
  • Playing: With words
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing
So a couple of days ago I asked *him if *he thought I was neurotic. Don't ask me what prompted the question, I don't know. What I do know is when *he said "Maybe?" for some reason unknown, I smiled.
  • Mood: Thanks
  • Listening to: The sound of my breathing
  • Reading: Words
  • Watching: The calendar...
  • Playing: With words
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing

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Madeline
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Current Residence: LA... For now...
Favorite genre of music: Anything Indie (except Indie Rock), Classic Country, Classical
Favorite photographer: None.
Favorite style of art: Literature :heart:
Music player of choice: iPod touch
Favorite cartoon character: None.
Personal Quote: You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. - Ray Bradbury

What I'm here on DA to do: Spill my heart, spill my mind, spill my soul to those willing and able to listen. To make friends. To read, and be read. :heart:
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:iconwaffles-of-gondolyn:
Waffles-Of-Gondolyn Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the watch boo ! 
Reply
:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! Thank you too!
Reply
:iconsongandfury:
SongandFury Featured By Owner 5 days ago  New member Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so very much for the watch!
Reply
:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! Same to you.
Reply
:iconsongandfury:
SongandFury Featured By Owner 4 days ago  New member Hobbyist Writer
Heart 
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:iconakrasiel:
akrasiel Featured By Owner 5 days ago   Digital Artist
Thanks for watching me :huggle:
Reply
:iconserendiipitii:
Serendiipitii Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch! <3
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:iconshedares:
SheDares Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Student General Artist
Thank you for the watch :heart:
Reply
:iconwithin-the-silenc:
within-the-silenc Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thankee for the watch :)
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:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Reply
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