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About Literature / Hobbyist Member Madeline21/Female/United States Recent Activity
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I had a full-blown anxiety attack a little bit ago. I got very queasy so I went in the bathroom and I almost passed out. I called for momma and she came and she said I almost fell flat at one point. She had to put me on the bed with a washcloth on me. I'm better now, I'm just in shock.

My cousin just recently got out of the hospital and had a trache, and me and mom went (I drove) to give her some scarves. They were talking about it all and I suddenly got queasy. So I asked to go to the bathroom. Few minutes later I called for mother to come in there. She came and I said "I want to lay down!" and she got a washcloth and placed it on me. I could hardly stand, everything was blurry. My head hurts now.
  • Mood: Apprehensive
  • Listening to: The sound of my breathing
  • Reading: Words
  • Watching: The calendar...
  • Playing: With words
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing
I don't want to tell *you face to face how I feel about *you. How I just. I just *want* *you. Nothing else. I *want* *you. It's almost maddening. How *you pulse through my veins without a cause *you're just there. I would be forever warm in *your embrace. That's why I write about *you. It's because I'm way too shy to say all this to *your face, or even on the phone. *You *captivate* me, Sonny, so very much. *You make me shiver, make me feel indescribable emotions.  I'm *glad* *you think me crazy, because in that we have a common factor. We understand, both *you and me, we *get* that I'm not (wri)gh(t(e)) in *my* head. Then again, *you make me this way. *You creep up in my mind late at night, and make me fondle my body in such a way that is taboo in some secret circles. Not mine. Not ever mine. In whatever ways I can express the passion and the dirty sinful hot moaning lustful mess that I am way too horny to clean up for *you baby I'm gonna do it. With every thought of *you, every sigh that I sigh *your name with, I can't relinquish myself. I just can't. *You can't make me. *You cannot make me unfeel what I feel for *you, whatever *you say to me or do, is not going to change the lust, is not going to change *my heart*. It never is going to.
A Sigh Is A Groan Is A Moan
Would printing this out and showing it to *him next month be the same as the words coming out of the mouth?
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Being with *you in the silence was the most prettiest thing ever. The most serene thing ever. If I could do it in reality, and not in a dream, I would. Hell, maybe we will be able to. No sex, no kissing, no making out. Just simply existing near each other. Sitting near one another and me leaning my head against *you. Would it be wasted if there was no making out involved? Honestly, no. That dream I had of *you was the most beautiful one I've had. If either one of us took the initiative to act any physicalities out, then so be it. There we would be. Of course, I doubt I could control myself around *you, alone, for more than 5 minutes. That would be torturing my poor heart and that's not really okay. There is this inhuman passion for *you that burns within my soul. I long for *you and I've said that more than once. I long to be with *you physically, not have *you on top of me fucking my heart out. I thought that's what I wanted. I thought I wanted *you to fuck me. (I do, but only when I'm horny as hell. ;)) When in reality I just want *your presence, not *your cock. Does that mean I *don't* want *you to do me? No. What that means is I've realized what I *really* want from *you, and us having sex ain't it.
A Strong Revelation
After a dream I had about *him I've realized what I want from *him. <'3 Come on hurry up Thanksgiving! :3
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I think of *you in notes that don't exist. The way *you make me feel everything at once without actually being here, and being all the way over there, is utterly astounding. My dear if I could just write out my love for *you in a way that *you could comprehend and understand, maybe I finally would. Finally would stop all the wishing and daydreaming and longing to be within those arms of *yours. Maybe one day I'll conquer my fears... But not today.
Notebook writing 27
Oct. 20, 2014 - 3:54 P.M.
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So a couple of days ago I asked *him if *he thought I was neurotic. Don't ask me what prompted the question, I don't know. What I do know is when *he said "Maybe?" for some reason unknown, I smiled.
  • Mood: Thanks
  • Listening to: The sound of my breathing
  • Reading: Words
  • Watching: The calendar...
  • Playing: With words
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing
I had a full-blown anxiety attack a little bit ago. I got very queasy so I went in the bathroom and I almost passed out. I called for momma and she came and she said I almost fell flat at one point. She had to put me on the bed with a washcloth on me. I'm better now, I'm just in shock.

My cousin just recently got out of the hospital and had a trache, and me and mom went (I drove) to give her some scarves. They were talking about it all and I suddenly got queasy. So I asked to go to the bathroom. Few minutes later I called for mother to come in there. She came and I said "I want to lay down!" and she got a washcloth and placed it on me. I could hardly stand, everything was blurry. My head hurts now.
  • Mood: Apprehensive
  • Listening to: The sound of my breathing
  • Reading: Words
  • Watching: The calendar...
  • Playing: With words
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing

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Madeline
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Current Residence: LA... For now...
Favorite genre of music: Anything Indie (except Indie Rock), Classic Country, Classical
Favorite photographer: None.
Favorite style of art: Literature :heart:
Music player of choice: iPod touch
Favorite cartoon character: None.
Personal Quote: You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you. - Ray Bradbury

What I'm here on DA to do: Spill my heart, spill my mind, spill my soul to those willing and able to listen. To make friends. To read, and be read. :heart:
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:iconlorraineslh:
lorraineslh Featured By Owner 10 hours ago  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch. :heart:
Reply
:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner 9 hours ago  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconwaffles-of-gondolyn:
Waffles-Of-Gondolyn Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
thanks for the watch boo ! 
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:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! Thank you too!
Reply
:iconsongandfury:
SongandFury Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks so very much for the watch!
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:iconpossumfan:
PossumFan Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! Same to you.
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:iconsongandfury:
SongandFury Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Heart 
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:iconakrasiel:
akrasiel Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014   Digital Artist
Thanks for watching me :huggle:
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:iconserendiipitii:
Serendiipitii Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch! <3
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:iconshedares:
SheDares Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2014  Student General Artist
Thank you for the watch :heart:
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